Cinco De Drinko

29 Apr

April 29 ā€“ May 5, 2013

I can’t even begin to tell you how close I came to making one of the newsletter photos a Ford Fiesta. But instead I Googled “taco” and scrolled down for a solid 4 minutes before coming anywhere close to a vagina reference, which I found surprising. Not that I was ever going to actually use a photo of a vagina, but once I realized the possibility of my search term’s ambiguity, I obviously had to embrace my inner perv.

I digress. AYE, DIOS MIO! Another pretty much made up Americanized holiday is among us! Sunday is Cinco de Mayo and I, for one, will definitely be celebrating on Saturday. When I first moved to New York, one of my girlfriends used to date a guy that managed a boughetto Mexican place in the West Village. On Sundays, we’d all go play “Tequila Trivia,” which was a “game” where you got a cheap shot of tequila if you yelled out the correct answer the loudest. I say “game” because the guy fed us free tequila whether we got the answers right or not. I feel pukey just thinking about it.

In retrospect, I can’t believe I didn’t lose my job during that period of my life. Especially on the Monday after a particularly raucous tequila-infused Sunday when my co-worker tracked down my roommate on Facebook and messaged her at 2pm to make sure I wasn’t dead in a gutter somewhere. I wasn’t. I was in my bed with all of my clothes on — Dead to the world, but not in a gutter. Tequila does weird shit to everyone though. If you’re not sleeping through your alarm, you’re taking your top off or dancing on bars or puking in your lap and generally making poor decisions. But we continue to drink it anyways, swearing that whatever hell we have to deal with the next day will be SO WORTH IT for the fun we swear we’re having in the moment.

Can we talk about how weird it is that non-Mexican people celebrate a holiday that celebrates Mexican heritage and pride? That’s weird, right? I love nachos just as much as the next girl, but I certainly don’t need a holiday/excuse to eat them. Whatever. Sombreros are hilarious and I will probably be speaking Spanglish all day like every other asshole gorging themselves at Dos Caminos or Taco Bell. So Happy Cinco de Drinko, amigos! Here’s some spicy tunes to help you get your fiesta started right.


My boyfriend once ate what appeared to be a taco in a bag at a street festival. I was mildly horrified. But apparently it’s a thing and it’s called Frito Pie and they’re everywhere?

If you’d rather eat a taco without the bag, here’s the 10 best places in New York to do so.

In high school, we had a maid named Margarita who insisted we provide her with more Peni-Sol. You can imagine my confusion. Here’s a collection of similar moments, brought to you by Consuela the Maid from Family Guy.

Now you can finally have that nacho-print maxi skirt you’ve always hoped and dreamed for.

What would Cinco de Drinko be without a bunch of fancypants Mexican-themed drink recipes? FYI, I do not condone the use of vegetables with tequila.

Mexico builds an Asshole Wall; Spring Break is over.

Yesterday I went to Dos Caminos Soho. 1. They have really great service and salsa 2. Their electric purple Prickly Pear concoction was an exact match to my friend Ali’s lipstick.

Hey wait! Check back on Wednesday for some mid-week goodness.


2 Responses to “Cinco De Drinko”

  1. ryguy April 30, 2013 at 3:53 am #

    I’d do anything for frito-pie flavored kissessss.


  1. Friday: We Made It!!!! | My Life Uncensored - May 3, 2013

    […] Cinco De Drinko ( […]

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